Tell Me You Love Me and Tell Me Why: A Canadian's 30-year Odyssey in America

In 2017, at a family gathering in Bloomington, Illinois, my daughter suggested a game: “Tell me you love me, and tell me why.” What started as playful turned unexpectedly profound. Voices cracked, stories surfaced, and love, spoken aloud instead of assumed, changed the room. That night stayed with me. So did the question.

This book grew out of that moment. It’s not just about saying the words, it’s the lives that give them weight. Mine began in Brampton, Ontario, where hockey rinks and community shaped my earliest loyalties. A work assignment brought me across the border to Illinois in the mid-90s. I thought I’d be gone in two years. Instead, I built a marriage, a blended family, and eventually, a new citizenship. Along the way came unlikely friendships, late-night music with a Canadian rock legend, the chaos of youth hockey in cornfield country, and the quiet strength of people whose steady love became the glue of community.

This is the story of crossing borders, between countries, families, and between the things we think we know and the truths we only discover when we stop to say them out loud.

If you’ve ever wondered how to make love less of a feeling and more of a practice, this book is an invitation. Ask the question. Tell the story. Say the words while there’s still time.